Today is the Day!

The biggest positive of tonight being the night before the surgery? Lots of shows on JFK to watch while I don't sleep. Nothing like a little obsession to keep me occupied. I asked Mom if I woke up from the anesthesia tomorrow and looked at the clock and said to the nurses, "At this time 50 years ago, John F. Kennedy was shot," if the nurses would think I was really drugged up. She told me no, just obsessed.

I cannot believe that in less than 12 hours that all this pregnancy craziness will be over and I will have a baby. It feels so unreal to think that after all the months of trying to get pregnant, surgery to remove a cyst that didn't exist, hormone pills to make me ovulate (and didn't work any better than my body did but made me WAY more crazy), weeks and weeks of being warned I was risking my life, and three and a half weeks in the hospital, that today is the day.

Dear Madelyn, I hope you realize that all of this was for you. But it wasn't really a sacrifice. I would have given up WAY more to have you in my life. Someday, when you grow up, get married and get pregnant yourself, you will finally realize how much I truly love you.

Renae told me once that you don't realize how much you can love someone until they place your baby in your arms. It almost scares me that I could love this child more than I do now. Sometimes, during this stay in the hospital, I just lay in bed and talk to Madelyn. There has only been one thing that I've ever really wanted to be in my life and it is a mother and today is the day that it becomes a reality. Lots of hormones are running wild tonight.

There are so many productive things I could be doing right now (or I could be sleeping), but I don't think I can focus on anything that requires any sort of attention.

I told Dan tonight when we said prayers over the phone, to get a good night's sleep tonight because starting tomorrow night and for the rest of his life, he will have a daughter to worry about.

I am so grateful for all of the people that have supported Dan and I through this journey. Especially our family, friends, and the amazing doctors and nurses that I have encountered through all of my appointments and this long stay at the University of Iowa. I couldn't imagine a better experience that I could have received with the circumstances that we were under.

The next time I will be typing on here, we will have our little bundle all born and I should be recovering.

Thank you in advance for all the prayers and positive thoughts, we really appreciate them.


Countdown to Baby: 10 1/2 hours